


The case of Batnipple-O's

by acarrotcakehater



Category: DC Comics
Genre: its in a TMA style cause why not, tw fear toxin, tw food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27802966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acarrotcakehater/pseuds/acarrotcakehater
Summary: A case statement from Lizphanie regarding her strange experiences while working for the Batnipple-O's marketing team.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	The case of Batnipple-O's

Case #2120141612519

Statement from Lizphanie, last name N/A, regarding her experience with batnipple-o’s cereal.

Date of statement: 11/20/2020

Statement begins:

“This may seem extremely bizarre, but maybe you saw the headlines for the recall, so who knows. Actually you probably did, the point is, in case you don’t want to read through my whole statement, the cereal was laced with fear toxin. They never outright said it, because they didn’t want a PR disaster, but thats what happened”

“I was a member of the marketing team, right, so I was in charge of making sure people knew about the cereal, I was in charge of the social media accounts specifically, we were told what direction to take the marketing in, which was to be pretty basic about it, get endorsements from Gotham heroes, Batman especially, and try to get them to market it by accident, I still don’t know whether or not that last one was legal, but it was what we were told to do.”

“I did the job I was told to do pretty well, I followed my instructions, and the pay was pretty good for social media managing. Eventually they brought other people in since they noticed that one person for this just wasn’t enough for the, quote, “ideal direction”, to take the marketing, they made this statement publicly too, which turned out quite well for them later.”

“Now I feel like I should mention something that I realize I should have earlier, I, at this point, had not yet eaten the cereal, apparently, this was because they hadn’t yet and again I’m quoting management here, “perfected the flavor”. This seemed weird to me as someone who had experience in marketing food, as typically they have marketing agents taste it first to know the strengths to market. But I didn’t question it.”

“It was about two weeks after I got my job there, and about a week after they expanded the team, that they made a limited stock soft launch in Gotham City, which made sense, that's where Batman is of course. At this point, I still had not yet actually been given the cereal, as I live in Metropolis, and really didn’t feel like driving all the way out to Gotham for a box of a gimmicky cereal. But from what I’ve heard, because they didn’t want everything shut down immediately, this version of the cereal didn’t have any fear toxin in it.”

“ A few days after that, they released the cereal in the entire US. Again, I don’t have first hand info on this, but from what I’ve heard, the fear toxin was added to the recipe immediately after the international release, only being a few days later. We were told to really push the international launch as well, and it was around this point that we had been allowed to taste the cereal.”

“I don’t know if you have tasted the cereal, and if you have I truly hope it wasn’t the version that came after the international release, but the big thing about batnipple-o’s was that inside of the hole in the middle, was powdered milk, the idea being that you could pour it in a bowl of water, and it would work as if it was actual milk. When the cereal was released internationally however, they added a new, powdered version of fear toxin to the mixture. As to why they added it, nobody knows, but I do know that it was added by an executive, who is now in jail.”

“Now, finally, we were allowed to taste the cereal, and yes, it was the fear toxin version, we were told that we were supposed to eat it before a livestream where we would publicly announce how to properly pronounce batnipple-o’s, which it turns out, may summon a demon. Though the live stream was canceled last minute, because we found out about this immediately before it was supposed to begin.”

“I understand that by saying that at this point I had eaten fear toxin spiked cereal, everything from here on, as well as the details regarding demons, may not be taken seriously, but I am completely serious. I, with the other two members of the marketing team, while panicking due to the fear gas, ran out of the office building. We split up once we got out, while I understand now that I shouldn’t have been driving, but I wanted to get as far away from Metropolis as I could, so I ended up on a route that took me to New York.”

“Once I got to a hotel and could relax, I tried to get in contact with my two co-workers, but they never responded, at this point I was shaking, probably because of both the toxin and the fact that they were missing. I waited, and waited, and waited for hours before the toxin had worn off just enough that I could try to sleep. The dreams I had that night were awful, and I just ended up staying in the hotel room for a bit.”

“A few days after that, I got a text from someone who claimed to be Wonder Girl, she said she was investigating the marketing team after the demonic stuff happened. Now I never heard that Wonder Girl was a detective, and to this day I don’t know if that was actually her, but I was tired, so I told her what I knew. She also told me that she got no responses from my co-workers, which, again, since I still had the toxin in my blood, was even worse sounding than it already was. Not because I knew them that well, though I did hope they ended up alright, but because if management went after them, they’d probably go after me.”

“I don’t really know what happened after this though, from what I can tell, Wonder Girl and her team went after the executive that gave the order to put the toxin in the cereal. The recall came not long after. Finally, as to what happened to my co-workers-”

End of statement.


End file.
